Olivia sat alone in the kitchen, surrounded by the post-party carnage of empty bottles, abandoned cups, and soiled food containers. Her ears were still ringing from Füngal Rot’s rendition of Away in a Manager. Next time she would suggest they host a Christmas book club instead. She was looking up multi-eyed mythical creatures on her phone when Derek lumbered in from the living room. He had picked up a bag of Ketchup chips and was chewing loudly. Shannon had let him into the house before returning to her bedroom where Jukka lay naked and expectant. If Olivia survived the night, she was going to have a chat with Shannon about the purpose of locks.
“How did you get in? You can’t be here,” she said, alarmed. She grabbed her phone to call the police. “You have to leave.”
“Your roommate. She’s very helpful. I missed you the other day.” His voice was deep and intimidating, but there was an unexpected hesitancy. The anxiousness he’d felt in the truck hadn’t gone away. If anything, it was worse. He didn’t understand why. He’d dealt with people like Olivia for years. She was no threat.
“I was sick,” she said.
“Your roommate said you were away.”
“She was wrong.” Olivia stood and moved, keeping the counter between them. “I have some of your money. I’m trying to get it all. I just need a bit more time. My other roommate is away…”
But Derek had stopped listening. He thought he’d heard something outside. He walked over to the kitchen window and peered out into the darkness. “What? Oh. Right. My money. We’ll deal with that. What’s out back?”
“Of the house? Just our yard.”
“There’s no one out there?”
“What? No.”
“You’re sure?”
“It’s two in the morning and winter.” Olivia used his distraction as cover while she moved towards the dining room door. A man of his size couldn’t possible move quickly enough to catch her if she ran, could he?
He grunted and turned back to her. “Hey, where’d you think you’re going? You and me, we’ve got unfinished business.” He began to move towards Olivia but thought he heard a noise again from outside. “There is something out there,” he said, glaring at her with suspicion. “Stay here.” He opened the kitchen door and stepped outside. Cold air swept in.
A glorious grey creature, mostly limbs and eyes, dropped down beside him.
“Hello traitor,” grinned the goblin, row upon row of magnificent yellow teeth, with a few new gaps, glimmering in the kitchen’s light. “I’ve imagined this moment a thousand times.”
“Slasher?” said the big man, unsure if he should be relieved, or worried.
Olivia was dumbfounded. Derek was surprised by the goblin, not because it was a goblin, but because he recognized it.
“How are you here?” It was the last thing he ever said.
The goblin brought down it’s cleaver.
Duncan was chatting with Greg in Egilsstaðir, Iceland when he heard a cry from somewhere in the house. He loved Greg, but he could only listen to Greg drone on about lichen for so longer before he wished Iceland didn’t have such good internet connections. Olivia’s cry was a welcome excuse to close his laptop and race downstairs.
He bumped into Shannon and Jukka in the hallway. Jukka had thrown on a black Korpiklaani deer head t-shirt. It wasn’t long enough. Shannon had on a pair of Dr. Who boxers that were Duncan’s and had been missing since the day after he’d moved in. Duncan often wished he could afford an apartment with just Greg.
“Is she having another episode?” said Shannon.
Duncan shot her a withering glare before calling out. He waited at the top of the stairs but heard no response.
“You know, she needs help,” said Shannon. “She can’t just scream into the night and we all pretend its normal.”
Duncan ignored her and continued downstairs.
Downstairs was a mess. Everyone had assumed someone else would clean up, so no one had. There were plastic cups, bowls of stale chips, and Füngal Rot’s gear strewn about. Three people Duncan didn’t recognize were passed out on the couch. One wore a long fluffy squirrel tail. They’d slept through Olivia’s cry. Maybe they’d be good party guests and clean up before leaving in the morning.
He found Olivia on the kitchen floor, back against the wall, staring at the back door.
“Olivia,” he said. “Are you okay?”
“Clearly she’s not,” said Shannon, joining him.
Olivia agreed with Shannon. She wasn’t okay. Nothing could have prepared her for what she’d just witnessed, and she needed a moment. She was fortunate the back door had swung closed, hiding much of the ferocity of the goblin’s work. Derek, despite his size, had never stood a chance against the goblin and its cleaver. It had been like watching an Italian deli-counter shoved into a wood-chipper. Slasher truly was an artist with the cleaver.
“Olivia, what happened?” said Derek.
“What should have happened is we got a different roommate,” said Shannon.
“It’s her house,” Duncan said. “And Christ, Jukka, pull down your shirt!”
“It’s not the length of his shirt that’s the problem,” said Shannon.
“In the sauna—” began Jukka, but no one was listening.
“Olivia?” said Duncan again.
Olivia looked up at Duncan after a deep inhale. “He’s gone,” she said.
“Who? Who is gone?”
“Derek.”
“Your sociopathic loan shark?”
She nodded.
“He was here? Tonight? I don’t understand.”
Olivia glanced towards Shannon. “She let him in.”
“Shannon!” said Derek. “Why?”
“What?” Shannon said defensively. “He came to collect the money she owed him.”
“And you let him in?” said Duncan.
“She had to deal with him at some point!”
“It’s two in the morning!”
“Don’t blame me if the people she associates with have unusual business hours.”
“Shannon, you’re an idiot,” said Derek. “Olivia…do you want to talk? What did he do? Did he threaten you? Did he…should we call the police?”
“No,” said Olivia, getting to her feet. “He didn’t touch me, I think I’m okay.” She realised she was more resilient than she had given herself credit for. “Well…I’m not entirely okay, but I think I will be.”
“That’s a relief. Let’s get you into bed. Jukka, make sure the doors are locked. We don’t want him coming back in, do we Shannon?”
Shannon folded her arms and glared.
“I don’t think he’s coming back,” said Olivia. The goblin had made sure of that.
By morning, any evidence of Derek was hidden below a fresh blanket of snow.
A Sneak, a Slayer, and a God 